Well it has been a challenging few weeks but today I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. I am applying for a job where I can not just openly declare my bipolarishness to the world but actually have it as an asset and work for to improve the lives of people living with a mental health condition.
OK so I also might not get the job 🙂 but the whole process has been so useful for me. There were some really interesting questions on the application form which got me looking at my bipolar and BPD stuff in a completely different way. I went off to do some further reading and research and read up on things I had never heard of before, but that really impacted on things that have been niggling at me since before I was even diagnosed.
Co-production and social models of disability are so interesting. I often felt through pregnancy, labour and definitely after giving birth that I was being forced to do something the medical profession told me I had to do, rather than follow my instincts. I thought as a new mother, full of hormones and with bipolar, I had no instincts. I was really rather wrong and the whole thing did nothing for my confidence.
Instead, often I think we are disempowered from making our own choices and working together with the clinicians to come up with a more holistic model for our treatment. We are individuals and a one size fits all simply won’t work. We are already battling against society’s impressions of us all running around in Bedlam so why make it even harder for us by not involving us in the decision making process over our own bodies?
The Equalilties Act of 2010 and supporting EU legislation is based around a medical definition of disability – that we are broken and something must be done to fix us. So immediately we begin with a negative connotation that is only reinforced the more you battle the maze of treatment out there. We are passively expected to receive treatment and not question it. Yet when my dosage was massively too high, I had such a fight to try and reduce it down despite feeling like complete shit and running around in a madly anxious manic fog (and guess what – I feel so much better for having it reduced!).
It is a lot to think about, and when I am a bit less raw from the whole labour and newborn experience I will discuss what I went through. In the meantime, here is an interesting article on some research on co-production. I’m going to try and incorporate more into my care regime. It has got me thinking so I hope it helps some of you as well.